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hellohhhellohh!
ahahahaha,, at jyc right now(: haiyooo. bored,, bored,, bored.. hmphhh,, these days,, ii've been feeling down withh some reasons behind it. almost ran away from home,, almost lose evryy single hope in me.. yeahhh. my downs are bad to mee.. lalalalalala. whatever.. thanks to ilaPendek, kamalul for advicing me and there for me. tkperluu siaa dhekk tuu surohh tryy bendehh ygg haram. bobal pcl minom lahh apehhlahh,, haiyoooo..
ii confuse lahh kn pcl evryy perubahan,, mcm adehh rasehh theres smthh wrong withh our hubungan. tpyy it isnt. haishhh. if ii were to hv knwn evry single truthh from uu.. ii tknk kehilangan uu.. serious shitt. if uu knw who ii'm referring too.. then okayy.. haishhh)): ii dont want to feel this way as ii knw this feeling isnt true! ahkk! ii want last tymee.. when uu used to be here withh me all the tymeee. hmphhh. okayy ii mls nk post agykk. byebye. ily.. takecare sumehh(:
will update soon,, maybe. ahahahahah. okayy tata!
Let the pics talk lahh. ii got no mood. just some words will do. here we gooo....
Amin! i took his photo! cantekk!
At nenek's house
Pendek nan Kecyqq!
Superwoman nan Maluuman
Orgg minyak lerr!
walauu hatyy menderita, tetap kuu tersenyum.
Di bawahh blok.
Menunggukn dirimuu.
Nmpk mcm pregnant? tuu tkdehh papehh letakk pt perot taw. aruu abes mkn cheesefries luhh, full!
Tuu baruu adehh bantal! 3 days jekk, tros kembang!
Adekk sedarehh kuu!
That red hairband.
Byy, mungken gbr iniyy tk dapat luahhkn perasaan ii tpyy ii nk blgg uu, slamehh iniyy ii tk penahh adehh lakyy laen selaenn uu dan ii akn sentiasehh setiehh pt uu. seandainyehh kitehh akn berpisahh suatuu haryy nnty, ii tetap akn ingtkn kenangan kitehh bersamehh. sygg, walauupon hatyy iniyy byk kalyy disakityy tpyy hatyy tetap menyinta. ii sygg uu. ii cintehhkn uu. ii tkkn lepaskn uu tpyy kalauu ii terpaksehh, ii redha. bsk, onemonthsaryy kitehh ehkk(: happy lahh untk kitehh. tpyy brapehh lamehh kiteh bersamehh tk terkirehh tpyy apehh yg terkirehh adehhlahh cintehh. ii rinduu uu lahh! senangkatehh ehkk. heee. byy, happy 1st mnthsary in advance! lol. ily sgtsgt. uu, satuu dan hanya di hatyy ii. muacks!byebye guys! ii want to stop blogging. hee. skrgg mood hppy dtgg alekk plakk. tpyy mls ahkk nk blog. haiyooo. apehh nieyy ahahahha. nitee!
i am sad! i am sad! i am sad! ):
haiyoooooooooooooooooooooo. whyy nieyyy? u knw why? it is because, my cousin gone home alreadyy): they cried, u knw. it was so sad. before they gone home, their mom talked to me and borrowed my phone and so on. got to knw so many things and she got to know my side of things. like mataer and so on. tuu duehh budak kecyqq ahkk, kecohh siaa! haiyoo. took pictures and so on. then they have to go): they cried. their grand mother told me that they thought of me as their own sister whom already recently passed away... long storyy. was touched and sad too. i wanted to be with them siaa. haiyoo. haishhh. if i would had the chance to spend withh them longer. lerrrrrrrrrrrr. i just want them to be happy. nk anggap me as their own sister or not, i still love them(: i want the best for them. and guess what, my cousin the youngest one, knows how to techtonik and do breakdance siaaa! kalahh siaa korg! ahahahah. the brother also knw. small2 alreadyy knw how to do that one all. ahahahahahah! okayokay. back to today story.
me and suzila met at my void deck and slack for a while. i gt hungryy so we went to macdonald to eat. ahahahhaha/ yum, mc chicken! lol. then planned to meet ahmad at busstop for a while to accompany him wait for the bus tpyy tk jadykk. bus diehh dahh smpyy pon. see, my mouth predicted right. dahh dpt disease daryy suzila and farina lerrr! wow! i kept on saying the right thing which is going to hppen. lolol! so when cancelled, i went to the shop, then i bought earsticks. heee. then after that, we went walking, rounding lahh kn. after tht, i went home. ahahahahha. then got home, father saw one pack of cigarettes. wow! haiyooooo. kayy lahh kn. gtg! byebye! ily byy((:
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
refresh, refreshh and refreshhh!
2010 is a hard year. well, it is really hard. teachers hv been talking to me about my life. 4 teachers hv cnfrnted me and 5 times I've been cnfrnted. its abt everything. about me, about my life... well, i want to chnge. indeed, 12/02/10 was a very sad dayy. the whole of the day i cried. in class, i cried, everywhere i cried. people around me will ask what hppn to ur eyes, and there comes out the lies.. but some were able to knw everything. form teacher talked to me, and i cried infront of her. my tears cnt be cntrolled. damn, evrything is a challenge. 2010 is hard! but i hv to face it. friends, family, and even my guy were all my chllenge. most to most, i will be the centre of the problem as in like i am the centre person among them. it is hard. i feel like crying right nw. but onlyy one thing tht is the most important thing. my familyy, him.. i cant bear to lose him. how long more must we stop talking.. i wont come to u, yes, i mark my words. lets let life move by its own. moods are changing day by day, people are changing day by day. in a blink of an eye, everything will change. trust me, everything.. okayy, stop!
refreshhhh!
yesterday was really a veryy 'bad' night(sunday, 14/02/10). lets start off from the evening first.
at arnd 4+ ila(pendekk) came to my house. ila was from her mom's house. wow! new laptop beb! then, we slack under my house. invited pipit, ahmad. some tagged along like q and rahman. went to sc to slack. 6.30 went back. shake hands with the rest and suzila went back withh me. aafter all those nonsense in my house, suzila wanted to go home. so, i decided to send her home but b4 tht, go 7eleven first. my youngest cousin who is over night-ing at my house, wanted to come along so i hv to bring him or else he would cry. i cant bear to see him cry. reached 7eleven, smth caught his attention, a game booth. he wanted to play but i didnt allow because we had to rush bt he insisted. therefore, he shouted to me 'if sister dont want me to play, i want go home!'(in malay) and he dashed out of 7eleven. i was like panicking. when suzila and i went out, he was gone. he is 7 years old! i panicked. i went finding him. it couldnt be tht fast he ran home? i asked a man and he said he dont know. bt he saw my cousin running out.
to be continued...
next episode. hahahahahha
i went to the traffic light and i called my mom. my mom was scolding me and she told me to find him. i could hear in her voice tht she is upset. omg! when i turned arnd, i saw one child who looks like my cousin. and me and suzila quicklyy ran to him but before tht i shouted his name as loudly as i can. we went to him and i asked him where did he go and so on.... he cried and i started crying too. suzila even have the guts to say 'akuu pon nak nanges siaaa' (i also want to cry siaa) then i hugged him. suzila told me, that everyone was looking at me when i shouted. even suzila was shocked. ahahahahhaha, u never know who i am yet when im totally angryy. sent suzila until rc and went back home. while walking home, told amirul(my cousin) not to do it anymore. and he kept insisting on playing the game. i told him my reasons and he looks like he wanted to cry. but i stopped him uhhkk.( so sweet of me) ahahahhaha. then right, reached home, my mom scolded him but i was pity of him so i accompanied him inside my room, stopping him to cryy. it was my fault too lahhh. kn): haiyooo. worst experience, beb! ahahahahhaha. till here then. that was it(:
byebye(:
heyyy(:
i dont know how to say this to u bt these days i'm easily feeling jealousyy. everytime i see you close withh her, i felt hurt, well i felt jealousy. nt accusing anything bt i dont knw why. my feelings are disturbed. my anger cant be cntrlled, my feelings cant be controlled, but i am putting an effort to change. yes, i am. i kept my feelings, i kept my eyes close. only God and umaira how i felt. seriouslyy, its hard. i don't want this to happen again like what happened with me and two of my exes last tymee. jealousyy pnyehh pcl, sumehh hancorr. haiyoo, b, i trust u, tawuu tk. btl2 trust u. tpyy hatyy ini kadang tkleyy terimehh. haiyoooo. stopi it siaa yana withh the feeling2. okayy okayyy.
guys! i made up my mind lorr already. i will berubahh before i regret. maybe i realised how many mistakes i did, maybe some I'm still working out on it. but all i want was your support, not anything else.
for him(nt my boyfyy), i know u said to me, ' tkgunehh kauu nk buat baekk nieyy sumehh.' my heart felt hurt. can't u realise how my heart felt. everything is for the better. i don't know what has got into you lately. it just hurts and sucks. even i will cry infront of my friend because of u. darahh dageng sendiryy, kauu sanggop katehh gytuukk. kadang akuu rasehh disayangyy tpyy kadang tk. mungkin skrg youu think i'm talking to u rudely, bt feelings need to be shown right now. akuu tk dpt blg kauu face to face, sebabnyehh, akuu mestyy dihinehh, dipukol atauu apehh2. kalau kauu memang tk puas dengan apehh yg akuu buat. kauu muakk tgk mukehh akuu? teros terang jekk. akuu phm. kalauu u're reading my blog, i want to tell u this. akuu rasehh cm pembantuu kauu. kauu marahh akuu bilehh kauu badmood, kauu surohh akuu amekk kauu barang untuk kauu and tkdehh pon menunjukkan kauu nk akuu adehh pt depan matehh kauu? mungkin nieyy kauu masehh tk sedar hatyy akuu, org tk phm. tpyy akuu cumehh nk blg kauu, hatyy akuu saket dgr katehh2 kauu. kalauu kauu memang niat nk saketkn hatyy akuu, kauu dahh achieve(: amin ehkk? and btw, kalauu nk saketkn agykk. just save it. save it kayy? I've had enoughh. akuu tawuu akuu byk slhh pt kauu, akuu mintakk maaf kay? takecare for now. bye(:
to those yg tawuu maksod akuu, then diam2 jekk. thnks okay? and for those who hv been there for me, i appreciated. whatever shit i talk whatever things i did withh u, i apologise. and friends, family, boyfyy. i apologise to u for my mistakes..KecyqqYutyut
heyyyy
just for your info. i ain't in a good mood now. I've now made up my mind I will just wait for you to message me then i would replyy. if by tomorrow i dont get anyy message from u, then I'll say this 'masehh ingt i tk?'. guys sometimes forget about their girl when they're having fun, that is what i observe in most guys. but i really trust my guy to nt forget about me. hmphhh. he promised me things. will he be able to make it up like my ex did?
kayy, back to todayyy! hmphh, woke up at 8+ but went back to sleep as i was still feeling sleepy. and i woke up at 11++. messaged him, but his phone was off. so, i just waited. i bathed. then got a missed call from cousin. so, i called her back and planned what time go out to religious class. we met beside the 7eleven then went to buy drinks at sweettalk and delayed our time as we were lazy to come early to class. haiyiooooo.
In class, as per normal. tk payy attention sgt. heeeeeeeeeeeeee(: got a sindehh from ustazahh and classmate about keneng. they were talking about people changing themselves. i was like what the hell! ishhhhh!!!! then, class finished.. went home. cousin didnt go back home withh me. tunggu kawan diehh. dahh adehh kwn baruu manehh adehh ingt org laenn. haishhhh. bt nevermind. i understand(:
reached home. blahblahblah. now, blogging! heeee(: see youu! takecare.
whatever it is, ily still.
Today was bolehh katehhkn, fuhhhh~ mood swings abes! then it affected ahmad, and then ein, and then suzila. jiwehh pehh. ahahahahah. mereps. ar-rashid chill ajekk. erhhhh, my condition withh ahmad was really cold at the beginning of the day.. but worked out at the end of the dayy. tuu pon, susahh tauu nak mintakk maaf pt diehhh. fuuuhhhh! hmphhh. without him knowing, i did led out tears, and suzila was there for me. thanks beb! its actually my fault luhhh. in fact, its all my fault. kayy back to today.
went to schh in the morning. was kind of weird todayy. recess gt to knw she wanted to ______ _______ in the morning? wth? for some of the 2n_ malay girls, perangayy stop it siaa. org tk ganggu, jgn ganggu org ahkkk. haiyoo, apehh nk jadykk?
recess, ate otak2, ordered a gift for ehhemmm. heeeeee(: me and suzila ordered the same thing bt nt the same colour horrrrr. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. bestnyehhh!
maths lesson, music... suddenlyy mood came veryy hyper abes! dance there, sing there arnd the class. ahahahahhaahah! weird........ then after schh went to meet suzila and go her house. her ehhem called to go his house bt when we gt out, he said later first so we went jyc to hv the aircon but then we gt hungry so went back to suzila's house and eat. nasyykk sedap and pedas! kurang garam jekkkk. bt its good for a guy like suzila's bro to cook. ahahahahahah. then blahblahhblahh, i dont want to elaborate. lazyyyyyy ahkk. heeeee(: my eyes are getting red! idk whyyyy! ohohhhhh! ahahahah. byebye takecare! sorryy ehkk syg, for the day just nw.. erhhhhhh, i love korg sumehh yehhhh.
tatatatatatata~ lalalalalalallaal~
byee.sorry i disappointed u.. ily(:
Labels: siket-siket jekk.
People say i changed, some people say I'm the same. maybe I am not changing, maybe i am. but its up to me for what i am doing to myself. the point of me writing this post is to let u knw, whatever i do, i am trying the best to the best untk korg. maybe korg katehh 'perangai stop it' atauu just talk behind my back bt i dont wanna care lahh kn. its mostly okay, really, wow? ehkehkk? heeeeeee. random post uhkkk. untk yg dicintehh plakk, i am trulyy soryy to what i have done until u hurt urself whichh makes me guiltyy. laen kalyy tkmohh gytuukk lahh. case tkleyy tdo pnyehh nntyy mlm. youu tgk jekk lauu buat agykk, i sendryy pon jiwehh nan u. hmphhh. takecare sumehhhhh~! and dear, ily(:
byebye. takecaree ahkkkk~! heee.
fuhhhhhhh! helllllllohhhhhhh. hiiii. irritating siaaaaaa.. i knw/ heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ngahh hpyy bodohhhh. chehhhhhh. shhhhhh. kay. dedicated to korg. last long ehkk korg. mukehh lakyy kauu shock abes sia bilehh kauu accept diehh. mcm kenehh apehh jekk. bt whatever it is. setiehh hnyehh padehh satuu kayy korg! ehhkk ___, kauu jagehh kawan akuu baekk2 ehkk! law tk akuu bunuhh kau. kayy ini cm phm bt whatever, harap2 korg last long~ heeeeee. congrats! byeeee. and ily byyyy(: sempat siowwwww
