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Since yesterday, my world became emotional again . i dont know why . i just happened to cry when i'm messaging .. tears came dripping down without me realizing the cause of it . but now i realized, two main cause of it . its because of B and Z .
B, i just wanted you to be happy . i may just like you but this feeling is strong .. but i have not loved you yet . haish . but since you loved someone else, i have to try to let you go .. i know its hard, but i'll try . messaging you was a pain in me . though i smiled in those messages, but i cried in real life .. i dont know why but when i typed her name, i cried ..
Z, i do still love you . i told you i can't move on .. i told you i love him and its almost 2months .. and all that while, i'm referring to you . i don't want you to know yet . but i just hope you realize it . messaging you makes me cry even more . it just really pains me .. minutes later, you called . i was shocked . you asked me questions and all .. hmph . Z, after talking to you, i feel more calm .. thank you ..
and when i slept, i dreamt of every person tht has its mark in my life .. every person in my life and used to be in my life, going through all my ups and downs tgthr with me .. i dont know why, at the last part of my dream, i dreamt of you, z .. i dreamt that you sent me a message 'yana, i blm move on lagi . i maseh sygkn you . i dah sedar .. tpi i blm ready .. bukan i nk saketkn hati u .. hahha ' this is what you sent me in my dream . and when i woke up i saw your name on my phone 'Zaileng ! disconnected ' you called me ? i was terribly shocked . i really saw it . i saw YOUR name but when i called you back, you didnt . but i am really sure, i saw your name on my phone .. but when i checked again, i was wrong . i am sorry . but i did saw you name with the star and exclamation mark in it . haish, whats wrong with me . i started to be stressed again . people ! ask me out to have fun with me . i need to calm myself down .. seriously .. haish . i still love you, z . even if i like someone else .. but i ONLY STILL LOVE ONE . and that is you ..
i miss you ..
